Mother's Day

I am a mother to four beautiful children whom I love more than life itself. I would give anything for them and would tackle you to the ground if you messed with them. But I can not stand Mother's Day. I honestly wished the day didn't exist. I love my mother and I love when my kids show me they love me but I cringe at mother's day. I can't stand to have someone say to me Happy Mother's Day. I feel like I don't deserve it. When they say it I grin and bear it and say thank you but inside I am cringing. I hate (and I don't like using the word hate!) going to church on Mother's Day. They will have all the mother's stand up and talk about honoring your mother's and how your mother gave you life and so forth and so forth. It just makes me cringe inside and all I feel like doing is curling up into a ball and crying.

Why do I dislike Mother's day so much you ask? Because I grieve not being able to give birth to my children. I grieve that I have 4 beautiful children who I would give anything in the world to have given birth to but yet I couldn't. Unless you have experience infertility you may not understand.  I grieve not being able to tell my kids the stories of how they grew in my tummy and how I got to feel them kick.
I know someone reading this will say but how can you be so ungrateful to your children's birth mothers. I am not ungrateful. I am very thankful that each of their birth mothers chose to give them life. But something you should understand is that each of my adorable, smart, talented children (no not biased at all!) came to me through very extreme circumstances. If I shared their stories, it would bring tears to your eyes, which is why I grieve not being able to have given birth to them myself to save them the pain they experienced so young in life. My children are my world!! Please do not take away from this blog that I do not love my children or that I wish I had my own biological children instead. That is so far from the truth, my children are mine in ever sense of the word. What I grieve is not being able to personally bring them into this world and save them the hurt they experienced so early in life. I know that genetically it wouldn't be possible to give birth to them and for them to still be who they are but in my twisted up mind, I can dream!
 If you know someone who is trying to conceive or who has adopted, be sensitive to how they might be feeling on Mother's Day.